


Nobody's Fool(s)

by PrinceC



Category: Doom Patrol (TV), Titans (TV 2018)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Forced Nudity, Humiliation, Knotting, M/M, Masturbation, Mildly Dubious Consent, Mind Control, Reality Bending, Rimming, Size Kink, Vigorous Fucking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-12-25 06:55:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18256073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrinceC/pseuds/PrinceC
Summary: As an all powerful omniscient super villain, Mr. Nobody really has a lot of time on his hands. He decides to let loose and have two heroes debauch themselves in as many ways as he sees fit.





	Nobody's Fool(s)

**Author's Note:**

> This is based mainly off those alleged nude leaks of a certain cast member of this show, and the fact that Mr. Nobody is a really fun character whose screen time I enjoy thoroughly.
> 
> I have no clue how old they characters are supposed to be in the show, but I assume they're at least 18 because the actors are in their 20s and can't pass for THAT much younger despite what the CW tries to tell us what high schoolers look like. 
> 
> So enjoy! Or don't. But if you enjoy let me know! It'd be much appreciated. :) If you don't, whatevs you do you!

“I’m bored,” Mr. Nobody said into the vast nothingness that was the void he resided in. “Do you know how much it takes for an _omniscient_ reality-warper to get bored?” He said to no one in particular. 

Why am I talking in quotes? I’m literally talking to you, the reader. Yes, you. The person on this godforsaken site that sounds similar to a certain three-letter US Representative that makes headlines quite frequently in the year 2019. You probably saw the tags, the characters, and were ready to get off right away.

Well boo-fucking-hoo. Too bad. A premise needs to be set up! One can’t very well jump right into the sex straight away. And let’s face it. Nothing about this story will be straight. You knew that going into this. You’re getting impatient and probably stopped reading the second you didn’t see any hot guy on guy action. A monologue and narration from Mr. Nobody is not what you expected, but it’s what you got.

But ahhhhh. We have the motive, now let’s get into the story. Follow me as we watch a healthy young man rot his mind playing video games. The man in question is none other than Garfield Logan, the Beast Boy – even though he hasn’t been called that in his show yet—or “Gar” as he goes by. God, what an awful sounding name.

Gar’s focus was on the big screen in front of him. A headset graced head as he shouted at either his teammates or opponents—I don’t care which. He smiled as he pulled off a headshot with ease. A new high score! Or whatever. I think it’s time we get to the smut. Let’s get this show on the road shall we?

_Gar decided he was finished his video games and was starting to feel horny._

Just in case you were confused, that’s me, using my powers to bend reality. It’s clear when it happens in a TV show, but has to be spelled out in fan fiction because people aren’t smart and need their hands to be held. Go figure. 

Gar blinked a couple times, as his avatar was shot by some camper… or whatever the terminology is. He backed out of the game, and set the controller down. His head felt kind of fuzzy. He didn’t know why he stopped playing, especially since he was on a winning streak.

He idly reached down to adjust himself. Gar let his hand linger as his mind drifted to obscene thoughts, his dick pulsing as it lengthened in his jeans.

Coming from someone who can literally bend reality at his whim, not a lot of things can catch me by surprise. Gar’s penis definitely caught me off guard. Maybe it’s because you don’t expect a lean, average height male to be packing that much heat but here we are. That snake is still stretching alongside his leg, trapped in the denim confines of his jeans, almost touching his knee.

Good heavens that thing is huge. Wasn’t even a result of getting his powers, he’s just like that. Stereotypes be damned.

_“It’s been a while since I’ve gotten off Jerking off would be really nice,” Gar thought._

Gar absentmindedly rubbed himself, a dazed smile on his face as the suggestion took hold. He plopped back down on his gaming chair, settling in. With quick fingers, he popped the buttons off his fly and dug through his boxers to release his magnificent dick. 

A little over nine inches of solid, and very girthy, man meat stood up in Gar’s lap. He pressed his shaft down towards his stomach and chuckled when he let go, watching the uncut flesh tube bounce back into place. Yeah, that’s right. We’re getting to the many euphemisms to say penis. Get ready for more.

Starting with a slow upwards stroke, Gar began to jerk off. He didn’t even think about using lube, his mind lost in his dirty fantasies. His picked up his pace, going to the tempo of whatever bimbo he was imagining doing to his cock. Soon the room was full of the sound of his breathy panting and his balls slapping against the leather of his chair.

Gar gripped his shaft with both hands as his jerking off became more frantic. He was practically lying on his chair, his legs extended out as far as they could go. His toes curled in orgasmic torment, so close to the edge but so far.

It’s absolutely delicious keeping a man on edge. I mean, there’s a whole porn site dedicated to that. Seeing Gar’s face scrunch up with such intense concentration, his huge cock turning red as his hands fly up and down and up and down. Balls bouncing, sweat trickling down his forehead. His lips red and swollen from biting down in agony, having yet to orgasm after what’s been at least thirty minutes. 

He was almost there. He was practically whining at this point, his need to cum urgent and the sole thing on his mind. Just when he was going to stop from exhaustion, I decided to ease his frustration.

_Gar, finally reached climax. An explosive orgasm, the best you’ve ever had, tore through his convulsing body. He aimed his penis at his face and finished all over his pretty face._

With a cry, Gar shot a copious amount of cum that splattered across his face. His breathing was heavy as he rode out his orgasm. Cum still shot out of him as it dwindled, hitting his neck and his chest. His now-softening monster of a cock was resting atop his belly laying on a pool of his man juice.

“Wow,” said Gar as he panted. “That was… incredible.”

“But the fun isn’t over yet,” I responded from the nether. Thought it was time to make my presence known as we head into the next act. “ _He didn’t even attempt to cover himself, nor did he realize I was narrating things.”_

“Who said that?” Gar shot up and looked around. He was on the alert now, fangs bared and teeth glowing a menacing green.

“Oh don’t mind me, I’m just an omniscient reality bending super villain out and about doing my thing. By all means go back to what you were doing. We were all enjoying the show.”

Gar whipped around as my voice bounced around the room. His face was turning red from the mix of anger and embarrassment. His limp cock dangled between his legs, swinging about with no move to cover himself or clean himself up. Oh, it’s so fun messing with people.

“Show yourself,” Gar growled. His skin was turning green. He was ready to shift and tear into whatever villain appeared in his home. Too bad for him.

“You don’t want to see me,” I responded. “My astral form is such a mood killer. All electricity and half face yuck! But I’ll give you my name if you’d like. I’m Mr. Nobody, and I own this story.”

“What story?” He attempted to cross his arms over his chest, but stopped himself. There was far too much semen on him, and he didn’t want it to spread. “And Mr. Nobody is a dumb name.” Can’t argue with him there, but we have the writers to thank for that. 

“Your story! Or at least this particular one. Honestly, you don’t have that many. Watch I’ll prove it to you. _Gar realized that Mr. Nobody had been controlling his actions for the past hundreds of words or so.”_

Gar’s face burned with embarrassment as it dawned on him that I was present for his alone time. That I actually started his alone time, and finished it for him. He made an attempt to cover himself, but his hands stopped short. His junk, now flaccid, still hung there glistening with cum still on the head. 

Not that he could cover that thing even if he tried, but his attempts were futile after my intervention. You’re probably exasperated. You thought, “Yes! We’re in the sexy stuff now! Jason’s coming soon now!” Well you’re wrong. Actually, Jason is coming – in his suit might I add – at this very moment. But he’s not entering anytime soon. We still have a few dozen words or so before he makes his grand entrance!

“Poor Gar doesn’t get much attention,” I said in a mockingly pouty voice.

“What are you talking about? Who are you even talking to??” Gar asked, having heard my conversation to you (the audience). “What do you mean Jason’s coming?”

It’s a surprise tool that will help us later. For now, _Gar’s cock became erect once again and his need to jerk off more intense than before._

Gar watched in horror and fascination as his penis rose to the occasion once more so recently after he had shot an enormous load. Without a second of hesitation, he started speedily jerking off. His moans tore through his body as he flogged his already sensitive meat for all its worth.

 _Although he had never done it before, Gar wanted to try fingering himself. He sucked on two fingers before jamming into his hole, quickly adjusting to the pain before any serious could be done._

My malicious smile stretched eagerly over my face as Gar obeyed. He screamed out a guttural yell that made the furniture tremble as his fingers breached his virgin hole. But pain quickly turned to pleasure, just as I had said, and he began fingering himself in earnest. 

Gar was lost in pleasure with one hand inside himself, the other barely reaching around his whole cock as it slid along his length. He threw his head back, green hair flying in every direction as he gave into his bliss.

 _Gar got on his knees and stuck his ass into the air to get a better angle._ At this position he couldn’t comfortably jerk off while fingering himself. He lazily stroked his cock, choosing to focus on the thrusting of his fingers. The new sensation of fingers inside his asshole was incredibly weird, but pleasurable. He felt a tightness in his stomach every time he pulled out and pushed in. At one point he hooked one of his fingers and let out a deep groan that made him shake.

He was trembling at this point. Arms near giving out due to exhaustion. A well positioned thrust of his fingers along with a stroke of his cock head made him see stars. He shuddered as he came for the second time. Semen spewed from his shaft, coating the floor beneath him. With a deep exhale, Gar collapsed into the cum puddle on the floor.

Gar sat up, hair in complete disarray, torso sticky with dried and new cum, utterly exhausted. He leaned back against the wall to catch his breath.

“Are you done?” He wondered aloud, knowing I was still here and still narrating. His eyes were closed as he exhaled deeply.

“Not by a long shot, buddy. _Gar heard a knocking at the door. Having found his second wind – third at this point actually – he got up with renewed energy and answered the door._ ”

“Oh fuck no. I am not answering the door in the nude, drenched in my own cum. I don’t care what you say or what your powers are none of that is happen—“

Try as he might, Gar got up and swung open the door revealing Jason Todd standing outside. The two men’s eyes bugged out at seeing one another. Jason had the treat of seeing a nude and disheveled Gar, drenched in cum and reeking of sex. His eyes trailed down the green haired man’s body and locked onto the snake that was attached to his groin.

Gar meanwhile took in the sight before him. One of Jason’s hands were raised in a fist, prepared to knock again. The other was cupping his manhood, acting as some semblance of coverage that wasn’t really covering anything. Jason, like Gar, was nude and was glistening. He wondered if it was sweat or cum or both.

“I was not wondering that!” exclaimed Gar as I read his thoughts aloud. His face would have gotten redder had it not been for the two intense jerk off sessions he had just completed. 

“It’s both, actually,” Jason grimaced as he explained himself. He brought down his raised hand to his cock and balls, covering them successfully now that he had two hands free. He made a gesture with his head as if asking to come in. 

Gar closed the door behind Jason, taking a quick glance at his muscled ass. “How did you get here, Jace?”

“Interesting question,” Jason began as he tiptoed around the giant cum puddle on Gar’s floor. He took a seat on the couch and quickly grabbed one of the throw pillows to cover himself. Gar walked over and sat in a chair across from him, legs spread, penis still on display. “You gonna put that away?” 

Gar blushed. “Can’t.” Jason nodded in understanding.

“Anyways, I was on a mission with Batman, beating up some goons in a warehouse. After all the fuckers are down suddenly I’m cumming into my suit. Like hardcore orgasm I almost black out.” He couldn’t tell Gar this, but as he was recounting his story, he felt his dick twitch underneath the pillow. Jason made a move to look like he was adjusting his sitting position, but he was really trying to create more friction between his penis and his cushiony protection.

Both young men blushed as I aired out their private thoughts amongst the both of them. They averted their gazes from each other, too embarrassed to make eye contact.

“Then next thing I know I’m standing naked in your hallway, and having a guy named ‘Mr. Nobody’ monologing at me from the void… and here we are.”

“Yeah, I don’t know where this Mr. Nobody comes from, but he’s a sick, twisted pervert,” Gar huffed out. He was completely right. But let’s not forget this sick, twisted pervert can control reality and the multiverse. I’m more powerful than that purple guy from the other studio who listened to Beyoncé once in 2008 and took an intro to philosophy class thinking he could change the world. Fuck him.

Besides all that, I think it’s time to get to the main course of action don’t you agree? _Both Jason and Gar felt a jolt in their nipples, as if they were being tweaked and pinched aggressively. It aroused them greatly._

The two men groaned in both pain and pleasure as they felt their nipples being assaulted by unknown forces. Jason’s head was thrown back against the back of the couch. His mouth lay agape as he thrusted into the pillow. Gar was arching his back, his hands gripping the arms of the chair until his knuckles turned red. The two superheroes were moaning unabashedly, getting lost in the pleasure.

“Holy shit,” Jason breathed out.

“I know. This feels incredible,” Gar’s voice raised an octave as he felt his left nipple tugged and twisted in a very specific way.

“No, bro I meant ‘holy shit’ your dick is humungous.” Gar opened his eyes to see Jason, still humping the pillow in his lap. His eyes were locked on to Gar’s throbbing shaft with a laser focus. “How is it possible you’re a grower _and_ a shower?” He unconsciously licked his lips when a drop of pre formed at the tip of Gar’s penis.

_The assault on their nipples over, Gar and Jason felt the need to makeout override any of their other senses. They wanted to have their hands on each others’ bodies to explore every nook and cranny of the other._

Gar jumped from his chair and tackled Jason on the couch. Lips crashed into lips. Hands flew across bodies, groping anywhere and anything they could touch. Gar stuck his tongue into Jason’s mouth with a ferocity that only the Beast Boy could accomplish. He rutted against his muscled body, groaning as his large dick rubbed against the pillow that was trapped between them.

Jason could feel Gar’s precum dripping onto his body. He didn’t think it was possible for anyone to be this wet, but he didn’t care. Gar felt incredible against him. He was definitely toned, as compared to Jason’s more bulging muscles. Jason gave Gar’s tight ass a heavy slap, which only encouraged the green haired man’s intense kissing.

They separated with a wet and messy pop off their lips. Gar growled as his lips latched onto Jason’s neck, making the hero gasp in pleasure. At some point the pillow was tossed out, because now it was their bare cocks rubbing against each other. Balls to balls, shaft to shaft, head to… well, more shaft, because Gar had a good three or so inches on Jason.

Gar made his way down Jason’s body, leaving bites that would definitely leave marks later across his body. When he got to Jason’s cock, which was throbbing and slightly curved, he stopped. Smiling with his fangs beaming, Gar engulfed the whole shaft in one go. 

Jason cried out as Gar sucked him off. Usually teeth near penis is a bad thing. However, Gar was very lightly using his fangs along his length in a way which made him squirm. As he blew Jason, he stroked himself in time with his own bobs.

“Fuck if you keep that up I’m gonna cum, dude.” 

Gar wordlessly popped off his penis, still stroking his own. “Alright then. Your turn.” Jason smirked and began to drag his tongue slowly along all nine inches of the shapeshifter. When he got to the head, he swirled his tongue around and around, which drove Gar wild.

Jason slowly descended on the monster cock, breathing heavily through his nose. He didn’t get far before his gag reflex caught the best of him. Eyes watering, he stopped for a moment and jerked Gar off in the mean time.

He made a second attempt. After his third attempt, he angrily gave up. “Fuck! You’re too huge. I can’t do it.”

“It’s cool, dude. I know I’m big. Can I just eat you out instead?” Jason’s eyes widened, but he found himself nodding. Of course he did, this is a smut story after all. Gar laid out on the couch, as Jason made his way to his head.

The second his mouth met his ass, it was over. Any reluctance either of the two had to carry out my nefarious plot was gone. Only two guys who needed to get off remained. Gar worked his tongue across the perineum, along the hole. He’d never eaten ass before, but hey Jason was a moaning mess above him so he must’ve been doing something right.

Jason pressed his ass depper onto Gar’s face, as the tongue penetrated his body. He let his hands wander the leaner one’s body, occasionally tweaking his nipples but mostly stroking the head of his cock. Gar exhaled in pleasure which shot hot air straight into Jason.

The new boy wonder bent down and took what he could of Gar’s shaft into his mouth. What he couldn’t fit, and there was a lot of it, he resorted to playing with his hands. Suddenly he let out a yelp when Gar’s adept tongue skills found his prostate.

With a knowing smile, Gar refocused all his efforts into hitting that spot again and again, driving Jason mad. Jason came suddenly, with a cry. His cum spurted onto Gar’s body, mixing with his already dry two full loads. He got off Gar’s face. Both men were flushed red from the physical activity.

Gar’s still hard and leaking cock pointed straight to the sky as they took a moment to catch their breath. “That… was amazing…” Jason said finally coming down from his orgasmic high.

“Agreed.” He turned to the white hero with a toothy smile. “I still want to finish though. How about I split that Gotham ass in two, huh?”

Jason looked incredulously at the Asian. There was no way something that size could fit in him. Or so he assumed. His face fell as he heard my voice echo through the room; Gar let out a whoop.

 _With lots of preparation, Jason’s hole was now ready to take Gar’s gargantuan cock._  

Gar smiled, as he spread his legs, his shaft still pointing skyward. Somehow a condom had appeared on it. Jason straddled Gar, facing him and ever so slowly sat down his now-lubed and stretched ass down on the girthy length.

He felt like he _was_ being split in two. Even my reality warping powers can’t prepare someone fully for the feeling of a nine-inch-long penis entering one’s body. Jason felt like his guts were being rearranged as he slid down before ultimately feeling Gar’s balls resting along his crack. He did it.

They sat like that, face to face. Jason breathing deeply as he adjusted to the hero he was sitting on. Gar took it on himself to gently bite down on places his mouth could reach, while also playing with Jason’s dimpled ass. He didn’t mind how long it took for Jason to acclimate. The boy was super tight, and that wouldn’t be changing until he had a few hard hits from Gar.

“Okay, I think you’re good now.” Without another word, Gar slowly started moving his hips careful not to tear Jason in half. They both were breathing heavily. Jason let out the occasional grunt, and Gar would stop moving until Jason gave the all clear. It was a very slow and very deliberate fuck, as neither wanted the Gothamite to get hurt. It was getting boring.

_Jason’s need to be fucked, to be used, bubbled inside him. He knew there would be no permanent damage. Gar was ready to unleash the beast, and did just that with gusto._

With a roar, the green haired man slammed into the brunette with precision and force. Jason’s hands gripped Gar’s shoulders to steady himself, as Gar gripped his hips. His bucking was getting more and more intense. The loud clap of skin hitting skin bounced around the room, mingling with Jason’s jumping vocal chords and Gar’s grunts.

Hips were starting to bruise under such a tight grip. Neither one cared. All that mattered was Beast Boy and Robin, fucking relentlessly. Gar stood up, still impaling Jason’s behind. He slammed the other against the wall, hitting his prostate with every hard thrust he made.

Jason was blissed out. His eyes rolled back into his head so much he wasn’t even sure he was seeing anything. All he could feel was Gar’s death grip on him and his cock. His wonderful magnificent scary amazing tube of a cock. Sliding deep inside him, pulling out until just the tip remained before pummeling into him all over again. And he did it with such a speed that would be impossible for a normal human. But Gar was no human, he was a meta. And metas could fuck insanely well.

Somehow they left the wall and were on top of the table doing it doggy style. Gar just about melted as his penis was sheathed inside such a warm tight crevice. He was so close to his third climax. His thrusts were becoming more erratic as he felt himself draw near to completion.

As his thrusts increased, he could hear Jason muttering things like “Oh my god” and “oh fuck” and “fuck yeah” over and over again under his breath. Gar was sure he was saying the same thing (He was). He suddenly felt a tightness in his stomach, similar to his first two orgasms, but different somehow.

Gar was like a cannon, shooting into Jason. The condom he wore quickly filled. The brunette felt more filled than he had in his entire life. With a low moan, he shot his load across the kitchen floor where they were now located for some reason. It was then that he realized that Gar was still inside him, and his ass was somehow feeling even tighter than when the green haired one first penetrated him.

“Uh… Gar? You can pull out now.”

“About that…” Jason turned his head to see Gar’s beet red face. His eyes glanced over his bruised hips, and his ass which Gar was still pubes deep in. He made an attempt to pull out, but all that happened was a tugging in his hole that could be felt with every move.

“Dude what the fuck.”

“I have no idea! We’re stuck!”

The shapeshifter made numerous more attempts to pull out, which only resulted in tugging Jason along for the ride. He winced as he felt his asshole stretched beyond its limits with each pull, but still to no avail. With every tug, Jason could feel his cock twitch, filling little by little. 

“You might not want to hear this, but I’m also still cumming,” Gar said after giving up on pulling out. Jason’s eyes widened even more. That’s why his ass felt like it was on fire. That condom, now entirely useless, could only hold so much cum and Gar was _still_ cumming.

“Allow me to explain, dear fellows,” I say breaking the two out of their reverie of pseudo-privacy. It’s as if they forgot the only reason they were fucking was because of a super villain with too much time on his hands.

“Gar has the powers to transform into any member of the animal kingdom. With that power, comes an additional benefit of gaining attributes in his human form as well. You made due with the fangs, and the green skin, but now you must also be made aware of the knot.”

Both young heroes looked completely grossed out and utterly confused. “Basically, that knot ties you together. Gar isn’t done sexually, and now that he’s in you Jason, you’re both stuck like this until he finishes.”

Their faces were just about glowing from the blush. They attempted to readjust their position, so they weren’t lying on the tiled floor of the kitchen but the knot made movement tricky. Jason could feel every single movement they made in his ass. By the time they made it back to the living room, he was hard again. 

Gar, meanwhile kept shuddering, because every time Jason squirmed it was like a dance on his overly sensitive cock. He was never going to finish if every movement aroused him. They were caught in a vicious cycle of pleasure.

“Well, that certainly was fun,” I said after moments of silence between the two. They were back on the couch, Jason seated in Gar’s lap, trying not to wince as the dick inside him pressed into his prostate. “But I must be going. I have a certain team of loser heroes to torment.” 

With that, I left the two of them alone. Well, kind of. They could no longer hear my narration, and frankly there was no more fun to be had with them. Leaving them like that was the best gift I could ever leave them with.

“You know, I’m very thankful your ass isn’t bony Todd,” Gar said chuckling. His laughs sent vibrations straight to Jason’s prostate, making his dick quiver. “It’s muscley, but pillowy. Qualities I enjoy.” A hard smack to the right cheek had the boy wonder let out a moan.

“Shut up and focus on getting soft, Logan. I want your monster dick out of me ASAP.”

“Really?” Gar replied with a pointed thrust, earning a yelp from Jason. “That’s not what your dick is saying.” He brought his hand to tease the brunette’s length, his thumb swiping the the pre at the head. He nibbled at the back of Jason’s neck, making him squirm.

Jason slapped his hand away. “We can _not_ go another round right now. Especially since we’re still in the middle of this round thanks to you!”

“Yeah, yeah I get that.”

The two sat in silence for a bit. They weren’t sure what else to say.

“So… you came in your suit huh?” 

“Shut uuuup.” 

“Think Batman ever came in his suit?”

“That’s disgusting.”

“Oh my god, do you think Dick ever came in his suit??”

“Well, if he did Alfred would probably wring his neck for doing something like tha—Are you getting harder thinking about Dick cumming in suit?!?” Jason turned around to smack the back of his green head.

“Dick’s hot. I mean no offense, but I thought the first Robin I would sleep with would be him. But you’re nice too,” Gar replied with a thrust and tweak of his nipple.

Jason groaned but smiled. He turned around once more and gave Gar a quick peck on the lips.

“Seriously. Shut up before I jump you again.”

“Is that a promise?” 

Jason didn’t say another word and began ferociously kissing Gar. This time it was him taking control of the kiss, yanking Gar’s hair and moving him in ways that he wanted. He swiped his tongue across Gar’s lips before he was allowed access into his mouth. The moans grew louder, and Jason could feel Gar’s pulsing dick pulsate even more. They were going to be here for awhile.

All of a sudden, Gar broke the kiss. His lips were red from Jason’s aggressive kissing. His eyes were dilated.

“Hey… who’s Alfred?”

 

 


End file.
